I sat through what was supposed to be a coaching session with an employee, but wound up being a close look at myself and my leadership style. This particular employee is one of my favorites - she works hard, tries her best to get it right and is all around awesome. And she reminds me of me - bossy, but means well; super nice, even when it costs her to be so. So when I am trying to tell her how to move up and improve herself (and my manager is there contributing too), I find myself talking about my own growth opportunities.
I tell people what to do, rather than ask them - I am a boss not a leader.
I run my mouth too much and don't give myself the best reputation that I could.
I am quick to react and jump to conclusions - which is great in a crisis but not so good when handling employees.
Which makes me rethink myself. I have been in my position for two years, and haven't had a manager for about half of that. I have been the head honcho and ran that place and held it together - but have I actually made any progress toward being an awesome manager? The kind of person who is not only business savvy, but that people want to follow. Have I created a workplace that people in other locations fight to be transferred in to? Are my people who are ready to be promoted fought over by other managers?
The answer is no - I haven't become any more than I was two years ago. But that is too harsh, because I have grown a lot and have learned so much. The way I manage now is much different then I did then - but is it enough? Have I grown enough to move onto the next level? I don't know, and the not knowing makes me wonder even more.
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