Wedding

My step-sister is getting married in just a few short weeks. This is going to be her first wedding --- I know a lot of people don't have to clarify that, but in my family, you do! My mom is on her 3rd marriage, and so is her husband. My dad was married 4 times (and died at 49 years old, so he may not have been finished yet! hahah). I was divorced by the age of 22. My brother married his second wife by the age of 30 (although, he gets special exemption because his first wife passed away suddenly after less than a year of marriage).

This all just makes me think - I am sure that I have found the love of my life. He has been married once before and was devastated when it ended. It has been 8 years since my divorce was final and it took me most of that time to heal from it. But even though I am sure (and I am sure that he is sure), putting trust in another person like that is scary. Especially when you have seen it fall apart so many times for so many people. Good people who make bad choices.

The fear isn't enough to make me want to run away though. I know that I am not one to live with someone for many years without the ultimate goal being marriage. Not for the traditional fundamentalist religious reasons, because that is simply not how I think - but for spiritual reasons with a broader message.

Marriage is about making a bond and a commitment publicly declared. I really think that humans are made to desire and flourish in an environment where you can trust someone and share your thoughts and feelings and feel truly intimate. The self-affirming confidence that you get from knowing that you are loved, no matter what, allows you to pursue other interests (work, family, community) with passion. That is what makes societies great and builds civilizations.